The Power of Fear

Upon arrival to the shop in Queenstown, and after being weighed (about 90 kilos each) Libby drew unique things on our hands – I received a champagne glass

Daniel is absolutely pumped and I am a bit uncertain after being weighed and filling out all the necessary forms

Multiple different jump styles: Daniel and I both ended up choosing different ones that we had originally planned

I pose with the marquis symbol for the company

In the van on the way to the jump point

Top to bottom and right to left:
1. Shot of the jump point taken from the “treehouse” where the video-making equipment, till, and other equipment were stored
2. Daniel considers what this will be like jump from 109m up, then freefall 60m from the jump point, then to be swing at speeds up to 150km/h in a 200m arc across the canyon below
3. Daniel gets harnessed up
4. Daniel and I with our guide Steve the Scotsman back in Queenstown following our successful jumps

I have someone to thank. Sometimes the power to confront and overcome our fears comes from places unexpected. At times we dig deep inside, but cannot muster the courage on our own. For this reason I am so grateful to have the unique community that we have shared on this trip. Though it is at times chafing, and at others grating, the overall sentiment has been extremely positive and I will say that each one of us played crucial roles in ensuring that we had everything necessary to complete the journey, and that each day contained a new adventure and experience in a country that is chock-full of them.

My brother was the one who had never faltered in his desire for adrenaline-pumping experiences. He says that he relishes the moments in which he finds himself at the precipice, and must summon the courage to hurl himself over the edge into the abyss. There have been many occasions for this, beginning early in Hawaii when my good friend and host Andy May led us up to a secluded waterfall. There we found a jump point and several jumpers, but the water antifreeze green, and so I was the only one of the three of us to make the jump (T-1). Later, upon arrival to New Zealand, some newly made friends led us to another waterfall with a shallow pool outside Piha, where all of us jumped (T-2, D-1), and then the wind was taken from our sails when all the boys made the jump in the buff! What a crackup! The next opportunity came when we all made jumps into a swirling river that we found on an overpass just after leaving Hokitika, when after Carrie had returned to the car, the three of us made the jump in the buff (T-3, D-2). There was some measure of preliminary fear, but once we overcame it and made the jump, we discovered a quite liberating experience. The next opportunity presented itself just shy of Wanaka where we discovered the azure pools spanned by a bridge 10m above the water, which gives a brilliant vista down into the frigid, deep-blue water. After testing depth and temperature, Daniel decided to go for it (photo of him on the precipice in my previous post). He did it! There is video footage of this that will be posted here at some point (T-3, D-3). That day all I could bring myself to do was dive in the water, but that took some courage in and of itself as the water registered at an icy 5 degrees Celsius.

And so we arrived to Queenstown, the heart of adventure activities in NZ, and with Daniel chomping at the bit to do either bungee or skydive, we learn about the Canyon Swing. Bianca at hostel reception did a great job of selling it, which included her showing us her own video uploaded to Facebook (ours will be uploaded as soon as we have sufficient internet connection). It was at this point that I realized both that I  was petrified of doing something like this Canyon Swing, and that Daniel and I were even for jumps for the trip. Of course he was already sold on the prospect. I had a few hours to consider it, and I spent most of them sleeping. The next day came, and though I went to reception, I did not make the booking. Something inside me was still unsure. When Daniel awoke, he said go for it, and I returned to reception only to find that we could not get in until 4:30 in the afternoon. I confirmed with Daniel and the others that this would fit our schedule, then made the booking at around 10:30am.

My heart fluttered for the next several hours, and as we prepared to walk down to the shop in Queenstown, I could not think straight nor readily handle anything fragile, lest it drop from my quivering hands. Daniel never seemed to flinch. My heart was in my throat for the whole of the form-filling and weighing, the way there, and all the way up to the point where I found myself on the precipice.

I have a fear of heights. Not a debilitating one, but then again looking down into a canyon 109m below, and knowing that the only thing between you and the river below is a rope tied to your harness, has a way of amplifying that fear. I have long feared what would happen on an occasion such as this. So I slid carefully to the edge, counted to 3 over a period of 40 seconds, and on my own, with a few words of encouragement, but no pushes, made the jump.

It was so good, so enjoyable, and so exhilarating, that I had to do it again. Daniel and I both did second jumps.

Fear overcome. Check that one off the list.