Coming home to Ames

It is funny how quickly a town away from home can become home. I stayed here in Ames for about three years, and never really felt at home throughout that whole period, as much as I wanted to say that I did. From my point of view, the university experience was hollow, lacking something of family and of consequence, simply preparing us to go out and integrate ourselves into the machine of the economy that we have in these here United States. I am hoping that there is a way that I can integrate myself into this mass of workers at some point, but for the moment I am disenchanted. Every time I start a new job I always feel inadequate, always feel that I have to do more more more and there is never an end. Perhaps I have been spoiled by grad school, but I must admit, that as guilty as I may feel to say it, it is nice to roll out of bed at 9:30am and not have anywhere to run to because I am insufferably late in getting there! There is a beauty to me in taking some time apart and driving across the United States instead of jumping into university life or immediately into a job. Interestingly enough, however, there is still a framework that can be imposed on these experiences and opportunities as well, almost as if anything that does not have a framework is not worth our while. What about leaving things unstructured and uncertain for a while? I don't know what I am looking for, but I don't know that I will find it here, around the world, or anywhere on this earth. Sometimes I wish that we did not have to work at all, that we could simply get to know one another and enjoy one another's company and live a relaxed and joyful life. Then of course there is the other part of me that assures that such a life would be boring and would provide no fodder for discussion; that on some level, the university education, the work, the jobs, the things that we do because we must do enrich our lives and capabilities and make us reach for things that we would not otherwise seek, and something to talk about in our spare time. I suppose this is why we are seeking work in the midst of our journey and to educate ourselves by reading and learning along the way.

Suffice it to say for Ames, that it will be an good stay here. Mass today at noon, and then some lawn mowing and dinner preparation, and then off to dancing because I know a few people in town. Kyle is a great man and has already taken good care of us, for which we are eternally grateful and I hope to repay him someday in the future. Daniel is off to hang out with some friends who have just embarked on the University journey and I am curious to hear what he has to say upon his return.